Positive Psychology

By way of word-of-mouth and electronic links, here is something interesting:

You, too, can get a Harvard education.

Psychology 1508: The Psychology of Leadership
Harvard College/GSAS: 7908
Spring 2005-2006
Tal D. Ben-Shahar
How can leaders-in the business sector, politics, or education-create an environment that facilitates growth? Topics include transformational leadership, personal identity, change, ethics, peak experience and peak performance, motivation, and systems thinking.

You can download Dr. Ben-Shahar's lecture videos; see menu on left side of this website: http://isites.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do?keyword=k14803

I imagine a little exploring will lead us to all kinds of interesting topics from this point.

Global Warming: Is the Science Settled Enough for Policy?

Dr. Stephen Schneider, an expert on global warming, recently gave a talk at the University of Arizona.

I didn’t get to go, but this is something that matters to me, so here’s some more information, courtesy of the press release announcing Dr. Schneider’s appearance, plus some of my hyperlinks.

Dr. Stephen Schneider, a nationally renowned climate change researcher and professor in Environmental Biology and Global Change at Stanford University, founder and editor of the journal - Climatic Change, authored and co-authored over 450 scientific papers, written numerous books on climate change, etc.

In the Fourth Assessment Report of the UN-sponsored Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (which shared the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize), Working Group I states that warming is “unequivocal” and it is “very likely” that human activities are responsible for most of the warming of recent decades. The same report says warming to 2100 is “likely” to be 1.1 -6.4 degrees C. Working Group II says 1.5 2.5 degrees C warming could commit 20-30% of known species to extinction (but only assigns this about a 50% chance). So, what is settled? Some projections are well established, some have competing explanations, yet others are speculative. Thus policy is a risk management judgment, just like most other complex socio-technical systems problems.

There is strong consensus that the increasing numbers of people in the world, demanding higher standards of living, and using cheap, available technologies (e.g. burning coal, and driving gas-consuming large automobiles) will double or triple the carbon dioxide content in the atmosphere by 2100. This implies many potentially serious impacts, though not all are negative. However, the distribution of these impacts is uneven, with most severe effects being experienced in poorer, warmer places, high mountains, polar regions, or in “hurricane alley.” Local, regional, and international actions are already beginning and much more could be done if there were political will to substantially reduce the magnitude of the risks.

Well La De Frickin' Da!

Chris Farley on Saturday Night: Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker, age 35.

"I live in a van down by the river."

"Young man, what do you want to do with your life?" Matt asks.
Brian says, "Actually, Matt, I kinda want to be a writer."
"Well La De Frickin' Da!" Matt says.

Regarding a Liar

Here are some quotes my mom sent me from an old book. I'll track down the full citation when I can. In the meantime, for your consideration:

"The punishment of a liar is that he eventually believes his own lies."

"Every life is its own excuse for being, and to deny or refute the untrue things that are said of you is an error of judgment. All wrong recoils upon the doer, and the man who makes wrong statements about others is himself to be pitied, not the man he vilifies. It is better to be lied about than to lie.

"At the last no one can harm us but ourselves."

Tax time

If I'm going to avoid my work, why not do other essential work... like taxes. Boy, what an ordeal that can be. But all those numbers, all in a row, is sort of satisfying to my organization-oriented mind. Order versus entropy, right? Sigh.

Totally boring and probably not useful to anyone else, but this is my own repository, too, so here it is. Tax information. It was hard to find.

General instructions Forms 1099 and a bunch of other forms in 2007: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/i1099gi_07.pdf. See page GEN-16, and look for 1099 misc.

The important part for me is the 1099-misc, which is what I need to provide to my subcontractors who earn more than $600.00. (Every time I think of you gals, who rescued me last year when I was facing more surgery, I give a little prayer of thanks.) This makes me feel very official; I am a big enough freelancer to hire subcontractors. Heh heh heh... only it was more of a rescue than being a Big Shot, wasn't it?

Ordering IRS tax forms online (because some of them are posted on the Internet as "Information Only" forms in red ink and they threaten a $50.00 penalty if you submit a non-scannable form. Grr.): http://www.irs.gov/businesses/page/0,,id=23108,00.html

In an attempt to make this post a little bit useful, here is a list of items that can be counted for tax deductions for freelancers. Remember, a portion of your home can be deducted if it is set aside purely for business. So that percentage of mortgage, utilities, etc. count. But I'd better stop with the tax advice and give a big fat disclaimer... I rely on a man who has a Master's Degree in Taxation to back me up. (Can you imagine? That kind of dedication is stupendous.) Anyway, these are the items I keep track of every year. How fun.

Tax Deductible Receipts
Box Rental: PO Box
Box Rental: Safety deposit box
Charity Donations
Home; house cleaning service
Home: insurance
Home: landscaping
Home: maintenance
Home: utilities
Home: Improvements (like my solar and water harvesting efforts this year)
Investment expenses
Medical: doctors
Medical: drugs
Medical: eyes (glasses, contacts, supplies)
Property taxes
Taxes paid (IRS, AZ)
Volunteer, expenses related to
Work: Computer equipment
Work: Conference fees
Work: Contest fees
Work: Office supplies
Work: Postage
Work: Professional dues/subscriptions
Work: Professional insurance
Work: Research costs
Work: Subcontractors
Work: Tax preparation fees
Work: Telephone charges
Work: Travel

Mileage Medical
Mileage Volunteer
Mileage Work
Mileage Tax
Mileage Investment
(MapQuest (http://www.mapquest.com/) is the greatest to help you figure out precise mileage to your doctor, your pharmacy, the place where you had a meeting with your agent, your tax preparer's office, the places where you did volunteer work, etc. Don't forget to note your total mileage for the entire year.)

Now here is my most sincere wish that any taxes I pay are directed to education and social services. I do not want a red cent of my money to go toward this debacle in Iraq. God bless our service men and women, and BRING THEM HOME as soon as possible. Please.

Productivity and other matters

I've been thinking a little bit about productivity lately... I'm not sure if it's a sign that I'm getting better, or if it's a symptom that needs to be treated.

I've also been Blogsploring, taking a little hyperlink trip around the Blogosphere. I ran into this guy: thedailysaint: Personal productivity with a spiritual twist.

I found him via this little piece on the ideal workday, and I also found Thursday Brom via a piece on setting deadlines. I had to follow up on her because of her name... she reminds me of my favorite Literary Detective, Thursday Next, who came into being thanks to Jasper Fforde, who totally amazes me and makes me laugh... and I feel like I'm part of the In Club when I read his books-- one payoff for being a voracious reader.

It's amazing what I end up finding when I am procrastinating on my own freelance project; now that I'm so physically limited, I can't go out and move rocks in the driveway or dig around in the garden or scrape white scale off the pool tiles or take Q-tips and clean around the moulding all over the house. I'm a little bit disgusted by my internet wanderings, because they keep me on the computer so I don't really feel rested and ready to return for Real Work. But it seems that the only other alternative has been to sleep, curled up with my hot pad. Maybe that's the better choice.

Anyway... off to my real job now. It's been nice to add more completely unuseful crap to the proliferation that exists out there in hyperspace...

Literary Gluttony

Many thanks to Hope Clark, who distributes a heck of a weekly newsletter called FundsforWriters (read online at: http://www.fundsforwriters.com/FFW.htm). You can find her blog at http://www.hopeclark.blogspot.com.

She shares some wise thougths in the February 10, 2008 newsletter about reading and writing:

"If you do not have the need to read, you don't have the right to write."

"The more you read, the faster you read, the smarter you become and the better you write."

"You cannot be in love with writing without feeling the same about reading. If you can't find time to read, you don't have time to write well."

As a self-professed literary glutton, I am drawn to check this out: Literary Gluttony: How to Consume More Books This Year.
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/literary-gluttony-how-to-consume-more-books-this-year.html

The Feb. 10 Newsletter also provides these links:

20 Outstanding SAT Essays:
http://www.nwp.org/cs/public/print/resource/2480

SAT Question of the Day: vocabulary, math and comprehension questions:
http://apps.collegeboard.com/qotd/question.do

I may or may not have more commentary on this later; maybe we don't want to get me started on reading and writing. I'll never shut up/stop typing. I have work to do, and rest to take, because...

I GET TO SEE THE KIDS THIS WEEKEND! It will only have been 29 days since the last time...

(and there was great rejoicing...)

Pleonexia and Happiness

Another grab from No Impact Man: Sustainable consumption's "double dividend"

Colin Beavan says:

One method of making consumption sustainable is to modify material and product production, distribution, use and disposal methods so that the consumption is less damaging. Another method, and the one that I often write about, has to do with just reducing consumption.

I like this approach because no new technology is required. It is simply a matter of habit change. And I like it because I don't believe the two-job, credit card debt up to our necks, don't have time for our friends and families approach to life makes us happy.

He references a 2005 paper by Professor Tim Jackson of the University of Surrey: "Live Better by Consuming Less?," Professor Jackson claims that there is a "double-dividend" to reduced consumption. One, it helps maintain our health, happiness and security as it depends on our planetary habitat. Two, there may be an increase in happiness when there is less emphasis on accumulating stuff. Please see No Impact Man for an extended quote from the paper and a PDF link to it; I haven't yet learned how to link to PDFs and he already did the work, and I'd like to woo you all toward this great blog anyway.

I learned a new word:

Pleonexia, the insatiable desire for more, was regarded in Aristotle's day as a human failing, an obstacle to achieving the 'good life.'

Reading the comments can be very educational as well. For example, Diane Gandee Sorbi references a recent 60 Minutes show that featured a study that has shown that Denmark has the most happy people. The U.S. ranks 23rd on that list. In Denmark, there is a low rate of violence, and less wealth disparity. Danes work an average of 37 hours per week, and take 6 weeks vacation a year. Diane says, "Some of the people interviewed believe they are simply more content with life because they understand that once you have what you need, more doesn't equal better. They think that success is defined by our relationships with the people we care about, and that it is more important to do what you love even if you make less money. It seems to me there is a lot we could learn in this country from the Danes."

There must be some kind of message from the universe telling me to go to Denmark, or something. I keep hearing or thinking about Denmark in one context or another; in my answers to that Book Questionaire I claimed that I wanted to learn Danish. Maybe my subconscious is on to something.

Anyway, a little research has led me to the above referenced story on 60 minutes and the scientific survey of international happiness carried out by Leicester University in England, entitled 'A Global Projection of Subjective Well-being: A Challenge to Positive Psychology?'

(CBS) Happiness is that quirky, elusive emotion that the Declaration of Independence maintains we have every right to pursue. And we do pursue it: we are suckers for an endless stream of self-help books that promise a carefree existence for a mere $24.95; and television hucksters of every kind claim they have the key to Nirvana. So the happiness business, at least, is one big smiley face.

Hmmm. What are your thoughts on happiness, whether or not they involve consumption? I'm going to ponder that.

I've been told there is a total lunar eclipse tonight but for once Tucson has total cloud cover so I can't see it. If my kids were here, we would be outside looking for it... It makes me happy to think of other events that have caused us to go outside together to look skyward, and it makes me very, very sad to think about how I can't even count how many days it has been since I've seen them. It's been several days since I've even spoken to them on the phone.

I suppose much of my personal happiness involves my children. Or more specifically, my personal unhappiness currently involves my children. Being a mother who really, really wanted those little guys, it is heartbreaking to be without them. That's the most prominent cause of my grief and rage about my health condition, and it sometimes distracts me from the rest. However, sometimes I stay awake at night recalling the days of teaching SCUBA lessons, rock climbing, flying small aircraft, sailing, hiking, horseback riding, skiing on snow or water, and all of the other physically active things I used to do.

I think illness and disability can be an enormous challenge to achieving happiness, but there are lessons in these experiences that may lead me to serenity and happiness in the future. That's a topic for another post... Hasn't this one wandered enough?

Peace.

Political Action to Save the National Writing Project

Here's an opportunity for action in WHICHEVER state you live:

With apologies to the National Writing Project for taking their entire bulletin in its entirity (with some added emphasis of my own and redaction of individuals' contact information), I'm posting an opportunity to take action to save another cause dear to my heart (and my employment, for full disclosure). Thanks to Erec Toso for this heads-up. You don't have to be associated with the Southern Arizona Writing Project or the National Writing Project to have a say in this VERY important issue.

By the way, the guidelines listed below for how to communicate with your senators are valuable in any context.

The link to Tips for Writing to Your Legislators About NWP are also more broadly applicable for any attempt to influence our representatives to DO THE RIGHT THING.
________________________________________________________________
[February 19, 2007]
- NWP Site Bulletin -

Dear NWP Site Leaders:

We are asking you and your teacher-leaders to contact your senators immediately and request that they sign the 2008 Senate Dear Colleague letter. Because the administration has proposed zero funding for the National Writing Project, it is very important that all of us work closely with our congressional offices to explain the importance of the NWP.

Last week a Dear Colleague letter was sent to every member of the Senate, circulated by Senators Rockefeller (D-WV), Snowe (R-ME), and Bingaman (D-NM). Colleagues are invited to add their signatures to the letter in support of a $30 million appropriation for the National Writing Project. Senators Max Baucus (D-MT), Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ), Patrick Leahy (D-VT), and Blanche Lincoln (D-AR) have already signed the letter. (A similar letter will be forthcoming on the House side; we will alert you right away.)

HOW YOUR SENATOR CAN SIGN THE DEAR COLLEAGUE LETTER

Your senator can sign the Dear Colleague letter by contacting Barbara Pryor with Senator Rockefeller’s office at 224-2578, Matthew Hussey with Senator Snowe’s office at 224-5344, or Michael Yudin with Senator Bingaman’s office at 224-5521. ONLY SENATORS OR THEIR AIDES, NOT NWP SITE LEADERS, SHOULD CONTACT BARBARA, MATTHEW, OR MICHAEL.

GUIDE FOR MAKING CALLS AND SENDING EMAILS TO YOUR LEGISLATORS

NWP’s Web page (on NWPi), “Supporting the NWP,” includes a copy of the 2008 Senate Dear Colleague letter and supporting materials. Please note that page seven of the Advocacy Toolkit [See below for these Talking Points] provides the most up-to-date information on NWP’s impact, which can be used to guide your communications with policymakers.

1. Go to http://www.nwp.org

2. Log in to NWP Interactive (NWPi) in the right column of the page underneath NWP’s interactive map. (Note: You must have an NWPi account, which is free and open to anyone interested in joining.)

3. Click on “Supporting the NWP” in the middle of the page to find the information you need.

4. Call your legislators’ Washington, D.C. offices. You can find contact information for your senator by entering your zip code on the following website: http://www.senate.gov.

5. Ask to speak to your senator’s education aide. Ask your legislator to support the NWP by signing the Dear Colleague letter. If your senator or the aide has not seen the letter, you may fax a copy to the office.

FOLLOW UP WITH YOUR SENATOR

Don’t forget to follow up and be persistent. You are a constituent; your senator wants to hear about the issues that are important to you!

Please let us know when you make your calls and tell us what response you get. We will keep you up to date as legislators sign the letter.

We are proud that our program has bipartisan support and we want to thank you in advance for all of the great work that you do for this effort.
______________________________________________________________________________

In 2006 and 2007, Arizona Senators did not sign the letter of support.
In 2006, Representative Raul Grijalva (D-AZ) signed the letter of support, and in 2007, Representative Rick Renzi (R-AZ) signed the letter of support.

United States Senate: http://www.senate.gov/
United States House of Representatives: http://www.house.gov/

Tips for Writing to Your Legislators About NWP
http://www.nwp.org/cs/public/print/resource/2455

_______________________________________________
Excerpt: Page 7 of Advocacy Toolkit:

Talking Points – January 2008

The following points can be used to guide your communications with policymakers.

NWP helps teachers teach writing.

-NWP develops and supports highly skilled teachers through its nationally recognized professional development programs, which take place at nearly 200 local writing project sites in 50 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

-NWP seeks an appropriation of $30 million to continue to expand its network so that there will be a writing project site within reach of every teacher in America.

-The NWP appropriation supports new, innovative programs to help teachers use technology for high-level student learning, to advance literacy across content areas, and to serve teachers of English language learners.

NWP uses writing to improve student performance and motivation.

-NWP teachers focus on writing and reading skills that ensure student success in college and in the 21st-century workplace.

-NWP teachers come from all disciplines and grade levels, ensuring that students build their writing skills throughout the school day and over the years.

-NWP teachers use writing to help students learn and to engage and motivate them so that school is a positive, meaningful experience.

NWP serves significant numbers of teachers, with positive results for students.

-NWP teacher-consultants conducted over 7,000 local programs, serving more than 132,000 educators who worked with 7.5 million students in 2006–07. Independent evaluation shows that student writing improves in the classrooms of writing project teachers.

NWP leverages local investment.

-NWP provides the capacity—the people, skills, and knowledge—that makes local improvement efforts possible. In 2006–07, NWP sites raised $22 million in local funds.

(Source: Washington Partners, LLC, 1101 Vermont Ave., Suite 400, NW, Washington, DC 20005)

Harkening back to the purpose of this blog...

No Impact Man very nicely captures one of my biggest gripes about The Way the World Works-- we are so darn wasteful!!!! Read his post, The Bottom-Line Problem with Sustainability? and add your two cents.

He references Heather Rogers' book, Gone Tommorrow: The Hidden Life of Garbage. She says that 80 percent of products sold in the United States are designed to be used once and then thrown away. It's that planned obsolescence thing that I get so riled up about.

He also references the cradle to cradle paradigm, which I dig... See why I like this guy? Good role model, articulate, reaches lots of people with a message we all need to hear and act upon...

Speaking of which, here's an opportunity for us to help take action in our state to support sustainability (thanks to my role models and the builders of MY sustainable home systems, Technicians for Sustainability for the heads-up).

HB 2766 includes measures to simplify the permitting process for solar electric and solar thermal systems, encourage energy efficient construction, set guidelines for schools to procure a guaranteed energy cost savings contract, encourage alternative fuels in school vehicles and reduce bus idling, encourage the use of renewable energy sources by utility companies, mandate that school districts reduce energy use by 2020, adopting the international energy conservation code as the voluntary state energy code, and implement a study on reducing the life cycle greenhouse gas emissions from motor fuels sold in Arizona. You can find details at http://www.azleg.state.az.us/DocumentsForBill.asp?Bill_Number=HB2766

HB 2614 is proposing to extend the current sunset date [get it?] of a bill that provides for a reduction in the value of the solar system for property tax calculation purposes. You can find details at http://www.azleg.state.az.us/DocumentsForBill.asp?Bill_Number=HB2614

Lemme do some of the research for you, to make it easier to write or call your representative:

Here is the Arizona State Senate Roster: http://www.azleg.gov/MemberRoster.asp?Body=S&SortBy=2

Here is the Arizona Congressional District Map to help you find YOUR representative and district: http://www.govtrack.us/congress/findyourreps.xpd?state=AZ (I like this website-- it's pretty informative and user-friendly. I also like the creator's disclaimer: This website is just a pet project of a regular joe. Read more about GovTrack.us to check it out for yourself.)

Here is a more "official" source for a map of Arizona's Legislative Districts, from the gov'ment: http://www.azleg.state.az.us/maps/state.htm

If you write a letter or make a call about these issues, would you let me know? Maybe post the text or a synopsis in my comments section, or email it to me so I can post it here? (I'll show you mine if you show me yours...) It would be nice to see if the ripple effect is indeed rippling.

Remembering 9/11

It may seem like an odd date to commemorate the tragedy, but I know people who live daily with the consequences of their direct exposure to the horrific events of that day. For example, this teacher friend of mine suffers health problems and who knows what other traumatic memories from her experience, escaping from right under the towers with her students.

I received an email about some wackos in Europe who want to take the Haulocaust out of history books to avoid offending Muslims. I have no idea of the veracity of this rumor, but the very idea is upsetting. The idea that these horrific events of history can be glossed over so easily is abhorrant. So today's mention of one of our nation's tragedies is my effort to combat this. I won't begin to go into my opinions about the actions our "leaders" have taken subsequent to 9/11... let's just leave it at this for now. Go read the account I've linked to instead.

Like Dope, But Different

Oh my...

Like Hope, But Different

I haven't been delving into the political rhetoric much lately, in my media fast, but sometimes I put my head up and check out the scene. I do vote, after all, so I'd damn well better. Bill Maher and Blogs are my main sources of info; castigate me if you have to. I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances.

Check out Heather's post: Like Hope, But Different. Because there ARE people who are artfully going about this political race as if-- strike that-- because our lives depend on it.

Word Like Arrows, Indeed.

I have a handy stack of bookmarks of all kinds in each room where there are books in my house. I must have grabbed this one off the top of a pile and stuck it in my book du jour, knowing I'd need it later. I didn't read the bookmark until today, and now I'd like to share it with you here.

This is from University of Arizona Arts Reach Educational Writing Program. The Project was called Words Like Arrows, and was associated with the Arizona State Museum at the University of Arizona. The following poem was printed in When the Rain Sings, Simon and Schuster, 1999.

Divorce

I was sad
as a typhoon coming
closer and closer.
I didn't
have a heart
to hold onto.
It sounded like
too much peace and quiet.
It tasted like
a hot mint in my mouth.
It looked like
lightening beside me
when my mom and dad
got divorced.

--Davina Valencia (Yaqui)
Grade 4 Age 10
Lawrence Elementary School
Tucson, Arizona

Copyright 1999. All rights reserved by the artist.
(I hope I'm not infringing on those rights by posting this here, but the effect of this enormous little poem on me has been astounding.)

This is the reason we started writing on cave walls, the reason behind the graffitti, the reason why Writer's Market is such an outstanding sales success, the reason blogging has proliferated. We have important messages to share.

A long slim piece of cardstock can carry words like arrows straight to our hearts and/or that place within us that is stirred to emotion and action and awe and grief. We must keep writing. We must write in any medium possible. We never know how far our words must travel to have their impact on one particular person at one particular time in her life when the words are most needed, somehow, even if they cause so much pain that person sinks to her knees to kneel on the floor in silent but keening grief and resolve to do more, to do better, to do whatever it takes to right the wrongs we perpetrate upon the children of our planet.

Everyone Says I Love You

Sigh...


More from Horsefeathers.

PS: I Always Get My Man

By the way, the second song in the video referenced in the previous post is appropriate for my situation. Shall I dance about the court room and sing this song before our judge? Or just use it to bolster my confidence and maybe even learn to not take this whole mess so seriously?

I'm Against It

Stealing from Agathon again... y'all are probably catching on by now to my limited exposure to the world out there, but his blog, Scenes From a Broken Hand, sends me off in so many strange and wonderful directions that it's a good door to open when I venture out. In that spirit, I'm stealing this excerpt from the 1932 film Horsefeathers. As for good ol' Groucho, I like his position, but I wouldn't mind seeing the others.



Then check out this 10th grader's video:

Technology and Books

This was the very first thing I EVER watched on YouTube, which was another one of those techie weird things that other people talked about but that I thought was just another way for people to spend time that I certainly didn't have for things like that. Funny what happens when you get too sick to work and your kids are taken away and you find yourself habitually spending hours on the same pasttimes you looked upon with, if not disdain, then some amount of fear. It's true I'm a web designer and one of my job titles is actually Technology Liaison, but I'm pretty much a Luddite. I get dragged into things like email and YouTube and Blogging pretty late. There's a more current and more accurate term for that: late adapter. [editor's note: Oops, I meant ADOPTER, per the technology adoption lifecycle, and if I'm precise about my place on that bell curve, I guess I'm not quite a Laggard, but definitely not on the front line. But maybe that's changing. And yes, I'm citing Wikipedia because this is a casual forum so we all must be left to our own devices if we follow links to learn more about what we're reading, no? I trust that my readers have opportunities to practice their critical thinking skills, and that I shouldn't have to go on this unexpected rant about disclaimers, etc. Who knows where that came from. And how about my little slip--late adapter? Hmmm...]

Anyway, here it is, the video that made me say, Hmmm. What exactly IS this YouTube thing? You can see why I would enjoy it so much. It's particularly cool that the creators are Norwegian... this is one reason why I cited Danish as the language I would most like to acquire for reading. The Danish language has a huge influence on Norwegian, so there you go. This would be even funnier if we understood the original language.

Some Bookish Answers

Yeah, yeah, I knew it wouldn't be long before I was called on to contribute. Here they are, my tired efforts at answering the questions.

Which [type of] book do you irrationally cringe away from reading, despite seeing only positive reviews?

Having to choose carefully and wisely how to use my time and energy, I'm more apt to read books than reviews. That said, I've had people recommend books to me that I've cringed away from. Maybe self-help or religious tracts... but is that always irrational? Not to say that I haven't read some very enlightening life improving books, and C.S. Lewis' writings on faith are among the best justifications for belief I've ever read.

If you could bring three [fictional] characters to life for a social event (afternoon tea, a night of clubbing, perhaps a world cruise), who would they be and what would the event be?

That depends entirely on my needs at the present time. Today I would like to have a seaside visit with Hemingway's Old Man from the eponymous novel, to help me "not to think, but to endure." Charlotte from Charlotte's Web, because I could use her patient wisdom and some good words to proclaim that I'm "some pig..."??? Well, maybe not that... And Inigo Montoya from William Goldman's The Princess Bride, one of the best books ever and later one of the best movies ever (I wanna be William Goldman when I grow up). Anyway, Inigo for his audacity and persistence and his "overdeveloped sense of vengeance," which paid off in the end. And then he cheerfully moved on. I wouldn't mind having The Man in Black and Fezzig on my legal defense team, either...

You are told you can’t die until you read the most boring novel on the planet. While this immortality is great for awhile, eventually you realise it’s past time to die. Which book would you expect to get you a nice grave?

Been too close to that lately to want to get back there, thank you very much. Pass.

Come on, we’ve all been there. Which book have you pretended, or at least hinted, that you’ve read, when in fact you’ve been nowhere near it?

I find it a little odd that the question is prefaced with, "Come on, we've all been there." I see no need to pretend to have read something I haven't, and I doubt very much that any of my friends do that, either. Maybe when you hang out with a bunch of bookies, there's no need to pretend, just opportunities to get shoved in the direction of a book or two you might not have otherwise read. Besides, come off it, any of us who lied about this would instantly be exposed as frauds in any conversation about books. Not having read a book is no cause for shame, but lying about it might be. I'll make a nomination for the Book Least Likely to Have Been Read, but Most Often Quoted: The BIBLE. And no, I haven't read the whole thing, either. But I don't shove its teachings down people's throats, either. Grrr...

As an addition to the last question, has there been a book that you really thought you had read, only to realise when you read a review about it/go to ‘reread’ it that you haven’t? Which book?

I read so much that I forget most of what I read. The more likely scenario is that I'll see a book in a bookstore, HAVE TO HAVE IT, then come home to find a copy of it on my bookcase. Doh...

You’ve been appointed Book Advisor to a VIP (who’s not a big reader). What’s the first book you’d recommend and why? (if you feel like you’d have to know the person, go ahead of [sic] personalise the VIP.

Whoa... too close to actual work in social justice for my current state of being... Pass for now, except for this suggestion: How about locking said VIP in a well-appointed library for a day without palm pilot or computer or cell phone or appointment book? With quiet, discreet librarians and leather couches and some not so discreet bouncers who would prod the VIP out of sleep if he or she used the couches to snooze for TOO long instead of reading... Or maybe one of those delightful storytime librarians so he or she could be read to. That would sooth the most savage heart, doncha think? A good rendering of Where the Wild Things Are might be a place to start.

A good fairy comes and grants you one wish: you will have perfect reading comprehension in the foreign language of your choice. Which language do you go with?

Danish. Evidently those Danes have a pretty good sense of humor, and I would imagine that humor is the HARDEST thing to translate. (C'mon, some of these questions are kind of stupid, because if we wanted to gain foreign language competence, it wouldn't take a fairy to give it to us. We could do it ourselves. In fact, I think I'll pick up Como Agua para Chocolate and see how much further I can get to improve my Spanish literacy.)

A mischievous fairy comes and says that you must choose one book that you will reread once a year for the rest of your life (you can read other books as well). Which book would you pick?

What's with the damn fairies? Don't all of us have some dogeared books on our shelves, perhaps near our beds, that we revisit often, even to take them out and flip open the pages for reassurance, "Ah, yes. You're still there." Tolkien's Lord of the Rings series. Narnia. Madeleine L'Engle's young adult novels, particularly the Wrinkle in Time series. Milan Kundera, Thomas Moore, Garrison Keillor's compilation of Good Poems, Joseph Heller's Catch-22 (this could be on my list for the VIP to read), Philip Roth, Isabel Allende...

Ohp, I found it. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. That's THE ONE BOOK. This also helps me with the question about other languages, because I collect that book in every translation I can find, wherever I travel.

I know that the book blogging community, and its various challenges, have pushed my reading borders. What’s one bookish thing you ‘discovered’ from book blogging (maybe a new genre, or author, or new appreciation for cover art-anything)?

As I've said before, I NEVER thought I would play the blogging game. Now it's my main "hobby," if you will... eventually to be replaced with the old ones like hiking and gardening or say, being a MOM... but when I run into blogs like Another Kick Butt Librarian, I have to admit that this new genre "kicks butt." Or when I trace the thread that brought this list of questions to our humble blogs, I see that there are tough, smart, Southern, gun-lovin' women out there who share some of the same reading tastes that I do. In the interests of full disclosure, I have to admit that I know my way around a firearm and am not a bad shot. It's like the admirable practice of some of my liberal-leaning or centrist friends who read and listen to right wing conservative media, just to know what we have to contend with. Familiarity is the best antidote to fear.

That good fairy is back for one final visit. Now, she’s granting you your dream library! Describe it. Is everything leatherbound? Is it full of first edition hardcovers? Pristine trade paperbacks? Perhaps a few favourite authors have inscribed their works? Go ahead-let your imagination run free.

I've been building it since I first started putting Go, Dog, Go and Are You My Mother on the shelves in MY room. If there are any helpful fairies out there, I have other dire needs I could use some help with right now. Here's one caveat, or concession to the intent of the question: my library has to be full of books that can actually be READ. So the collectible first editions can go in some section of my house called Artwork or something. The library has to be user-friendly, non-intimidating, safe and cozy.

Okay, that wasn't so bad. I need a nap now. Here's a question to add to the list: Which book is the one most likely to cure insomnia, or the one you select to lead into a comfortable nap? Right now I'm reaching for Thoreau's Walden, and turning to the section where he adds up all the figures for how much money he has spent on building his little retreat. I know that if I wander too far into the pages, I'll get all intrigued and wakeful again, but there it is. A Sand County Almanac works, too. See, the trick is finding a book that is deep and complex and important enough to own and read, but that has soporific qualities on a warm sunny afternoon when you're sleepy anyway. It's not something you roll your eyes at, or "cringe" at, or call upon to kill you if you're sick of immortality, but its language is rhythmic and its topics are so detailed and its ideas are so big that you can only take small doses. This is the kind of book that leads to good dreams and if you get caught napping with this book on your chest or beside your head, you look cool. Even if you're drooling on the pages.

Some Bookish Questions

Some questions for my bookish fellows:
Agathon's response to someone else, who got the questions from someone else, who says that the reason we have houses is to keep our books. Amen to that.

Which [type of] book do you irrationally cringe away from reading, despite seeing only positive reviews?

If you could bring three [fictional] characters to life for a social event (afternoon tea, a night of clubbing, perhaps a world cruise), who would they be and what would the event be?

You are told you can’t die until you read the most boring novel on the planet. While this immortality is great for awhile, eventually you realise it’s past time to die. Which book would you expect to get you a nice grave?

Come on, we’ve all been there. Which book have you pretended, or at least hinted, that you’ve read, when in fact you’ve been nowhere near it?

As an addition to the last question, has there been a book that you really thought you had read, only to realise when you read a review about it/go to ‘reread’ it that you haven’t? Which book?

You’ve been appointed Book Advisor to a VIP (who’s not a big reader). What’s the first book you’d recommend and why? (if you feel like you’d have to know the person, go ahead of [sic] personalise the VIP.

A good fairy comes and grants you one wish: you will have perfect reading comprehension in the foreign language of your choice. Which language do you go with?

A mischievous fairy comes and says that you must choose one book that you will reread once a year for the rest of your life (you can read other books as well). Which book would you pick?

I know that the book blogging community, and its various challenges, have pushed my reading borders. What’s one bookish thing you ‘discovered’ from book blogging (maybe a new genre, or author, or new appreciation for cover art-anything)?

That good fairy is back for one final visit. Now, she’s granting you your dream library! Describe it. Is everything leatherbound? Is it full of first edition hardcovers? Pristine trade paperbacks? Perhaps a few favourite authors have inscribed their works? Go ahead-let your imagination run free.

Boys to Men

Agathon reacts to this article with several points, but this paragraph is the one that sticks with me:

The Wife and I are certainly not any kind of 1950s throwback, but in some ways, we parent in fairly traditional ways. And it's obvious to see, as I watch my sons respond to me and to her, that they would not be as happy or as healthy or as balanced with only one of us on the scene. And it's not just because two provides more balance than one. I don't believe that "any two people" is equivalent to "mom and dad." They are distinctly different and complentary energies, and they're both needed. If the two people on hand provide those two distinct energies and points of view, regardless of gender, then okay.

This makes me sad as I survey my own parenting situation. I wonder what kind of men my boys will turn out to be, given their chaotic upbringing. I don't have much hope that the chaos will settle down anytime soon, because their father is suing me for legal and physical custody-- and he wants to move to Phoenix with them in May when my oldest boy finishes his kindergarten school year.

I must find enough energy, emotional strength and money to fight this completely unnecessary battle, and I resent the hell out of that because I'm supposed to be directing all of my energy toward healing. It has only been six or seven weeks since I was working overtime in a rehabilitation hospital to graduate from wheelchair to walker to cane.

I had to learn to walk again. Now I can. That calls for some celebration. Instead, I weep every day with rage and guilt and longing because my boys' father chooses to keep them from visiting me, takes them away from our mutually established child care situation to something unknown to me. I don't know where they spend their days or with whom they spend their nights when The Ex is out working his new territory in Phoenix several nights a week because he won't permit me to speak with his nanny.

When I suggested that the nanny and the boys come to stay at my house for those nights, I guess it smacked of too much reason because he began to insult me and then answered my daily calls with text messages.

A lawyer might advise me not to write about this on my blog, because it may in some way jeopardize my case. But I can't keep it out of here because I've learned that this is the main source of information about my life for my friends.

I've made choices that I believe are best for my children. The fact that they are in the care of their father and his vast support network ought to be reassuring. I should be able to rest easily knowing that they are in good hands while I recover my life and ability to care for them myself. I ought to be able to see them on a regular basis, even for short periods of time.

The cited reasons for not allowing the boys to visit me in hospital or rehab were somewhat valid; those are scary places. But they are a firm reality in our lives, and my boys might ultimately understand what is happening to them if they could see it for themselves.

Maybe that will make them grow up too fast. Maybe some of my friends are correct when they admonish me for being too strict with them. However, I need them to come to me when I call them at the baseball park so that they won't be stolen. I can't run to catch them before they climb over the railing of the balcony. Yes, they have to pull more weight around my house than the average kids of 4 and 6. I can't pick them up when they fall or are in despair or rage and need to be held. They have to come to me and climb into my arms for that maternal comfort.

It's sad, but true. I am a single mother who is very sick, and when my kids are with me, sometimes they are called upon to be little grownups. But they also play outside and read books and draw pictures and make forts and beat each other on the head until they figure out a way to work out disputes. They get to watch an occasional video. They have to make due with the plentitude of old toys instead of getting a new Transformer every other day.

Perhaps there is a case for The Ex to have them. He's healthy. He's their FATHER. He is essential to them. But he's gone a lot. He relies on a number of other people to care for the children. When I call them the tv is on all the time; the other night Big One said, "I'm watching a movie and you're uh, disturbing it." Then he put down the phone. Other conversations reveal details about the newest cool toy from Walmart that Daddy got for them. Little One said his nanny is "nice and mean." He said last week, "When I say mean things I get soap in my mouth and I go to my room." This is the style of parenting that my "wasband" once referred to as Old School.

I hate this situation. It is great, soul-hollowing dismay that I take with my medicines every day, the bitterest pill. My boys need their MOTHER, in whatever shape she is in, because she too is ESSENTIAL. Perhaps a real man would understand that.

Always Look on The Bright Side of Life

Monty Python: That's something to be grateful for.

Forget all our troubles, forget all our cares...

Wow. What a phenomenon, YouTube. Incredible.

Petula performs Downtown on Top Of The Pops, 1964

Lawrence Welk

Here's a response to A's post. I used to watch this show with my Grandma while I lived with her, so I can't help but feel nostalgia. But I'll tell you what: I never saw THIS episode.



Then there's this; it's really too painful to watch the whole thing:


But this will make you feel better:

How Can I Keep From Singing?

Solace comes from music.


How Can I Keep From Singing?

My life goes on in endless song
Above earth's lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear its music ringing,
It sounds an echo in my soul.
How can I keep from singing?

While though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
And though the darkness round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble in their fear
And hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near
How can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile
Our thoughts to them are winging,
When friends by shame are undefiled
How can I keep from singing?

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

--Ro­bert Low­ry, 1860.

The rendition that get me most, so far, is done by Martin Sheen in his singing debut on A Prairie Home Companion. You have to scroll forward to 15:29 on your player unless you just want to listen to the rest of the segment and Martin Sheen's introduction, which is no chore.

Here's Enya's take: