Some Bookish Answers

Yeah, yeah, I knew it wouldn't be long before I was called on to contribute. Here they are, my tired efforts at answering the questions.

Which [type of] book do you irrationally cringe away from reading, despite seeing only positive reviews?

Having to choose carefully and wisely how to use my time and energy, I'm more apt to read books than reviews. That said, I've had people recommend books to me that I've cringed away from. Maybe self-help or religious tracts... but is that always irrational? Not to say that I haven't read some very enlightening life improving books, and C.S. Lewis' writings on faith are among the best justifications for belief I've ever read.

If you could bring three [fictional] characters to life for a social event (afternoon tea, a night of clubbing, perhaps a world cruise), who would they be and what would the event be?

That depends entirely on my needs at the present time. Today I would like to have a seaside visit with Hemingway's Old Man from the eponymous novel, to help me "not to think, but to endure." Charlotte from Charlotte's Web, because I could use her patient wisdom and some good words to proclaim that I'm "some pig..."??? Well, maybe not that... And Inigo Montoya from William Goldman's The Princess Bride, one of the best books ever and later one of the best movies ever (I wanna be William Goldman when I grow up). Anyway, Inigo for his audacity and persistence and his "overdeveloped sense of vengeance," which paid off in the end. And then he cheerfully moved on. I wouldn't mind having The Man in Black and Fezzig on my legal defense team, either...

You are told you can’t die until you read the most boring novel on the planet. While this immortality is great for awhile, eventually you realise it’s past time to die. Which book would you expect to get you a nice grave?

Been too close to that lately to want to get back there, thank you very much. Pass.

Come on, we’ve all been there. Which book have you pretended, or at least hinted, that you’ve read, when in fact you’ve been nowhere near it?

I find it a little odd that the question is prefaced with, "Come on, we've all been there." I see no need to pretend to have read something I haven't, and I doubt very much that any of my friends do that, either. Maybe when you hang out with a bunch of bookies, there's no need to pretend, just opportunities to get shoved in the direction of a book or two you might not have otherwise read. Besides, come off it, any of us who lied about this would instantly be exposed as frauds in any conversation about books. Not having read a book is no cause for shame, but lying about it might be. I'll make a nomination for the Book Least Likely to Have Been Read, but Most Often Quoted: The BIBLE. And no, I haven't read the whole thing, either. But I don't shove its teachings down people's throats, either. Grrr...

As an addition to the last question, has there been a book that you really thought you had read, only to realise when you read a review about it/go to ‘reread’ it that you haven’t? Which book?

I read so much that I forget most of what I read. The more likely scenario is that I'll see a book in a bookstore, HAVE TO HAVE IT, then come home to find a copy of it on my bookcase. Doh...

You’ve been appointed Book Advisor to a VIP (who’s not a big reader). What’s the first book you’d recommend and why? (if you feel like you’d have to know the person, go ahead of [sic] personalise the VIP.

Whoa... too close to actual work in social justice for my current state of being... Pass for now, except for this suggestion: How about locking said VIP in a well-appointed library for a day without palm pilot or computer or cell phone or appointment book? With quiet, discreet librarians and leather couches and some not so discreet bouncers who would prod the VIP out of sleep if he or she used the couches to snooze for TOO long instead of reading... Or maybe one of those delightful storytime librarians so he or she could be read to. That would sooth the most savage heart, doncha think? A good rendering of Where the Wild Things Are might be a place to start.

A good fairy comes and grants you one wish: you will have perfect reading comprehension in the foreign language of your choice. Which language do you go with?

Danish. Evidently those Danes have a pretty good sense of humor, and I would imagine that humor is the HARDEST thing to translate. (C'mon, some of these questions are kind of stupid, because if we wanted to gain foreign language competence, it wouldn't take a fairy to give it to us. We could do it ourselves. In fact, I think I'll pick up Como Agua para Chocolate and see how much further I can get to improve my Spanish literacy.)

A mischievous fairy comes and says that you must choose one book that you will reread once a year for the rest of your life (you can read other books as well). Which book would you pick?

What's with the damn fairies? Don't all of us have some dogeared books on our shelves, perhaps near our beds, that we revisit often, even to take them out and flip open the pages for reassurance, "Ah, yes. You're still there." Tolkien's Lord of the Rings series. Narnia. Madeleine L'Engle's young adult novels, particularly the Wrinkle in Time series. Milan Kundera, Thomas Moore, Garrison Keillor's compilation of Good Poems, Joseph Heller's Catch-22 (this could be on my list for the VIP to read), Philip Roth, Isabel Allende...

Ohp, I found it. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. That's THE ONE BOOK. This also helps me with the question about other languages, because I collect that book in every translation I can find, wherever I travel.

I know that the book blogging community, and its various challenges, have pushed my reading borders. What’s one bookish thing you ‘discovered’ from book blogging (maybe a new genre, or author, or new appreciation for cover art-anything)?

As I've said before, I NEVER thought I would play the blogging game. Now it's my main "hobby," if you will... eventually to be replaced with the old ones like hiking and gardening or say, being a MOM... but when I run into blogs like Another Kick Butt Librarian, I have to admit that this new genre "kicks butt." Or when I trace the thread that brought this list of questions to our humble blogs, I see that there are tough, smart, Southern, gun-lovin' women out there who share some of the same reading tastes that I do. In the interests of full disclosure, I have to admit that I know my way around a firearm and am not a bad shot. It's like the admirable practice of some of my liberal-leaning or centrist friends who read and listen to right wing conservative media, just to know what we have to contend with. Familiarity is the best antidote to fear.

That good fairy is back for one final visit. Now, she’s granting you your dream library! Describe it. Is everything leatherbound? Is it full of first edition hardcovers? Pristine trade paperbacks? Perhaps a few favourite authors have inscribed their works? Go ahead-let your imagination run free.

I've been building it since I first started putting Go, Dog, Go and Are You My Mother on the shelves in MY room. If there are any helpful fairies out there, I have other dire needs I could use some help with right now. Here's one caveat, or concession to the intent of the question: my library has to be full of books that can actually be READ. So the collectible first editions can go in some section of my house called Artwork or something. The library has to be user-friendly, non-intimidating, safe and cozy.

Okay, that wasn't so bad. I need a nap now. Here's a question to add to the list: Which book is the one most likely to cure insomnia, or the one you select to lead into a comfortable nap? Right now I'm reaching for Thoreau's Walden, and turning to the section where he adds up all the figures for how much money he has spent on building his little retreat. I know that if I wander too far into the pages, I'll get all intrigued and wakeful again, but there it is. A Sand County Almanac works, too. See, the trick is finding a book that is deep and complex and important enough to own and read, but that has soporific qualities on a warm sunny afternoon when you're sleepy anyway. It's not something you roll your eyes at, or "cringe" at, or call upon to kill you if you're sick of immortality, but its language is rhythmic and its topics are so detailed and its ideas are so big that you can only take small doses. This is the kind of book that leads to good dreams and if you get caught napping with this book on your chest or beside your head, you look cool. Even if you're drooling on the pages.